The Priest

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I'm Peter Vanderhoelt, I'm 68 years old My doubts and questions have increased In forty-two years of being a priest I'm at the end of my life I'm not sure if I'm gonna survive I often don't know what to say When I talk to Him, when I pray In reply I receive only silence, no relief I've waited in vain for a little advice From that great voice in the ethereal skies Once I was a revolutionary A devoted mercenary A gifted student in God's hands Now I'm old, and sick of his demands I tried to be honest and good Did my job the best I could But I always stayed that average man Right in the spot where I began During the grief with which I've dealt It's been three decades since I've felt The certainly I so adored about the existence of the Lord I've seen enough, that's why I know God left this place a long long time ago I've given to my parish Things I don't have myself, but cherish Namely love and charity Mostly purpose, that's what sets you free So I'm where the metaphors Are not comforting anymore I think I'm almost done with my search I got old so fast here in my church It feels as if I'm kept out Of some sort of secret about The meaning of life Sometimes I can't fail to notice These are mediocre times I've seen enough, that's why I know God left this place a long long time ago Time has made me good at one thing and horrible at everything else The blessings of the world divine Were always elsewhere, were never mine Oh I would like to hold someone Briefly, maybe have some fun But my body's oddly designed So I'm not really the hugging kind Not once has there been Someone with a softer skin Who reached out for me In the middle of the night Across my old lumpy mattress When I turn on the light I think I've been miscast The time of saints is past My faith is weak, last not but least After forty-two years of being a priest The church is like a woman A thing out of reach, like a vision She glimmers in the distance To which I could never quite get Now I am left here with my regret I've seen enough, that's why I know God left this place a long long time ago I've seen enough, that's why I know God left this place a long long time ago It's my portion, it's my cup It's my portion, it's my cup